Monday, November 12, 2012

Sit With It

Sit with it.  Sit with emptiness that is really full, though I do not have any way of truly knowing that.  Let go of  everything!  Yikes...

But it is the only way to be.  My late friend, Br Randy, a hermit in the Episcopal Diocese of New York, said more episodes of the dark night would visit me, and probably be worse (from my perspective).  Damn, he was right!

More than anything, I would like to give up this sitting, to just walk away and get on with my life.  But I can't.  Whenever I attempt to do so, something holds me, and it is not fear. 

And, it is never a good idea to make major changes when in this state.  So, I am just present to and with the Emptiness; it is present to and with me as well.

With the exception of my experience of community last week, church neither beckons nor calls.  I do read Compline every day; I sit in Silence. While I may not like it, it is okay.

Supposedly it is always darkest before the dawn. I just have to trust that is so and that, some day, the Light will shine even more brightly.

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