Sunday, July 17, 2011

First Anniversary of my Mom's Death

This is a picture of my folks about twenty years ago at Thomas Jefferson's home, Monticello. Dad died in 1993 at the age of 78. Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my Mom's death at 94. It was my honor to be with her and help midwife her to life beyond this as she died. (I did the same with Dad, too). In fact, as she was dying, I mentioned her dancing in the Nutcracker Suite as a child, and that, once again, she should put on her ballet slippers and let go; she did.

After having eight children with my Dad, they adopted me, one of their numerous foster children at the time. They had to fight a judge for 18 months to make it legal. With five boys and three girls already, you'd think they would have adopted another girl, but they chose me. I am forever grateful for the incredible life they gave me, always challenging me to use my mind and discover new things. Faith was something you lived, not talked about a whole lot. What a blessing for which I am extremely grateful.

Death sucks. While I accept its inevitability for myself and others, which makes this life so worth cherishing and living to the fullest, I hate that death takes those we love away from us. It is necessary for Life's continuation, but this doesn't ease its sting. 

Many folks would rather simply ignore this topic, as if grief instantly disappears in three days or a few weeks. Everyone mourns differently and we need to respect that. Quite simply, I don't grieve on anyone's schedule, but the natural rhythm that is my own. This was my second parent to die and it's not easy; easier to some degree than a year ago, yet more difficult too. 

Yes, Mom lived a full 94 years, for which I am thankful every day, but she's still my Mom and she's still dead. It hurts. My life continues, with a great amount of joy, yes, but that doesn't stop me missing her (and Dad) a lot. It's just the way things are. Whatever form an afterlife might take, that doesn't make it any easier now...

But what I can do, is say "Thank you" to two amazing parents, who instilled so much knowledge and love in us, by their example. May my life be such a blessing to others...


Br Tikhon, CoS said...

Dear Brother,

God bless you on this anniversary of your mother's death. May your mother's memory be eternal! May God comfort you and bring you peace.

Give rest, O Christ, to thy servant with thy saints:

where sorrow and pain are no more;

neither sighing but life everlasting.

Thou only art immortal, the creator and maker of man:

and we are mortal formed from the dust of the earth,

and unto earth shall we return:

for so thou didst ordain, when thou created me saying:

“Dust thou art and unto dust shalt thou return.”

All we go down to the dust;

and weeping o’er the grave we make our song:

Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

Christ's love and peace be yours,

Br. Yossi, CoS Cam said...

Blessings of gratitude, dear Brother Tikhon...