Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Asking the Questions

Discernment's a tricky thing, yet necessary on a daily basis. It allows you to sense where you are and if that is in line with what you and others sense is your vocation. Those others include a spiritual director or soul friend, perhaps a mentor in Religious formation.

Some days I wonder why I am even in Religious Life, as the vows flow from those made at Baptism. I wonder if those original vows all are that is necessary. Other days, I wonder if I am perhaps not called to the eremitic and monastic life, but to a more active expression, while still rooted in contemplation, like St Francis' way. Likewise, I have also wrestled with the call to the presbyterate for years, and have often wondered if it's okay to say "no," choosing instead to look at other options, seriously. Heck, some days I even wonder why I bother with organized religion at all.

Now, some might be surprised at this, but discernment needs to bring these questions to the fore. They are honest and need answering. And whatever the answer, it's correct if it's gotten to as the result of talking with mentors, prayer and deep listening. If these questions do not come up and are never dealt with, makes me wonder how genuine the discernment process someone's going through.

In my experience, none of this means anything unless it's in response to something, or rather, Someone. Stirrings felt in my being demand action, call for response. Over time, patterns emerge, and the answer becomes clearer for now. It can change over time, too, and that's right fine. 

1 comment:

Thom, SFO said...

How true this is. I feel like I'm almost daily re-evaluating where I am, and where I'm going.